i quit

I recently did one of the scariest things that I have ever done in my life, I quit my job. Even at almost 26 years of age this is something that had never come up in my life before. All the jobs that I have had are ones with already defined end dates or I was moving across the country so it wasn’t really a quitting situation.

But then this past week I found myself in a new situation, I had gotten a job in a Public Library and was ready to head off on a new adventure, but unfortunately that meant that I had to actually leave my current job. I barely slept the night before as my heart was pounding in my chest and I just hated the confrontation of having to say that I was leaving.

As an enneagram 9 I hate conflict with the very core of my being and having to leave a job is a major source of conflict (at least in my head). In reality it was much more calm than I was fearing and as soon as I left the office after all the anxiety that I was feeling in my chest melted away.

People were happy for me. When I thought they would be mad instead they knew that I would be moving on to something that I have been working on for my entire life. And I am excited too. While I will miss my old work and coworkers I get to finally describe myself as a librarian when people ask what I do for a living.

Now these final two weeks are not what I expected them to be. Instead of spending my final days meeting up with people, saying goodbye, and finishing up all my work at my desk, I am at home. Meetings are being held over zoom and I had to tell my whole department over a conference call that I was leaving.

Sometimes to get to our dreams and goals we have to quit something else. Sometimes we have to do something that scares you in order to get to something even better. That is what I have been learning through this whole process. Plus, sometimes it is good to step out of your comfort zone (even as much as I hate doing so).

What is the last thing that you have done that has scared you?