disappointment: changes and cancellations

It has been a week since I wrote my post on social distancing and wow, that week has seemed like a year. The dining room table has fully transitioned to becoming my desk, I haven’t left the house in days, and the news seems to be worse and worse every single day.

It was my birthday on Monday and it was certainly the quietest birthday ever. There were no parties, few friends and family, and it didn’t really seem like that celebratory of a day. Not that I had a bad day, but things were different and yes I was disappointed.

Then the biggest disappointment of the whole situation happened. It wasn’t stores closing, work being moved to at home, or having to go to church at home. It was the email we got yesterday afternoon saying the community garden was closing. This garden was the thing keeping me going and my reason for going outside. We were going to be building the fence and planting today, my seedlings have been starting to outgrow their little pots and were ready for the ground.

To be honest, I am not too sure what I am going to do. I want to plant more in my backyard but I don’t have enough pots and this isn’t a good enough reason to go to Home Depot for more. Some of the things I am planting won’t work in a pot either (poor little butternut squash) so I am at a bit of a loss of what to do.

Your disappointment may be different. It may be a sports season that is cancelled, your final year of school that has changed to be online, a wedding that had to be postponed, or many of the other things that are affecting us right now, without us even being the ones sick.

Yet, I am still healthy and so are the rest of my family.

Yes, my husband did get laid off and I am transitioning jobs in the most uncertain time that I have lived through, but we still have a roof over our heads.

Yes, my bathroom remodel isn’t happening and I don’t have a bathtub at the moment, but my cupboards and fridge has food to feed myself and my family.

Yes, friends and family are only meeting through electronic means, but I am so thankful that we have social media, video calls, and texting so that we can still be in contact.

Yes, life has seemed to be put on hold for a bit, but I do think that we as friends, family, neighbours, communities, countries, and the world will come out of this a better place.

Mr. Rogers was always told by his mom to “look for the helpers” and these weeks have made me look at the people on the front lines of our lives; the healthcare workers, the grocery store stockers, and the other essential services that we can sometimes take for granted.

It has also made me look at the ways that the community has stepped up, I have fitness classes I can watch live on facebook knowing others in my city are doing the same, we have had notes placed by our door of people willing to get groceries if we can’t leave the house, and I have seen people helping others in ways that I haven’t ever seen before.

Disappointment has hit all of us in the past weeks, but it has hit ALL of us. None of us are in this alone and while we may be physically distant at the moment this has shown me that we have never been more connected.

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